In the darkest hour I wished to be a part of the night ride. Only the breeze of air that goes carrying the ghosts of history around the world, watching over us, whispering silent words from meaningful events that had been ignored. Listened carefully, I’ve felt the calling of the old beasts while my last dream became a nightmare as I woke up. Tears of happiness became screams of agony; real life attacked with all its strength. No compassion from it. Needless to say, I feel weak against it, I had never been taught how to defend myself. A thousand versions of the past left me confused when I tried to follow a figure. My present is blank, and my arms don’t carry any weapon to become one figure myself.
Every night I walk the street, trying to avoid human contact as much as I can. There’s no reason to look at someone else’s eyes, and hear them say words contradicted by their souls and bodies. I’d wish I could just erase my language, every single word I know. I and my emotions would be one with Earth, and more specific, the night. After 12:00am the truth shows itself: no one is looking, you can’t be judged, and people are so drunk they can’t even lie without revealing past guilt in the process. Everything is covered by its true color, adorned with a few neon lights that try really hard to bring the lies the sun carry when it shows up.
I can’t recall my first revelation. My mind was set on friendship and family; both put a happy mask on me, just to cover what I’ve been feeling all my life. I smiled, I remember, but it was just muscle. They go away soon, no matter how they tell you how close they are. Give your best, people forget really soon, unless you make a single mistake. Family love is just a mere compromise, similar to buying something expensive and you don’t want to let it go because the you paid a lot for it but not for its meaning or usefulness. I am the only one paying attention to those ancient ghosts. I am writing some of their words in which I agree. Bodies were buried or burned to ashes, but their silent presence will remain on Earth until she decides when to stop living. When she’s had enough of human presence and start again, or just gone forever.
If something happens when my time is up, I’d like to give some advice: listen carefully at night. As foolish as this sounds, silence carries the truth of everything. I am not allowed to speak any more because spreading the word will only distort language if it’s told by us. Pay attention to the environment, don’t be afraid of darkness, and more important, learn from them; they try to warn us from what’s coming very soon, the old beasts.